My brain is hanging upside down.

Life sucks right now. It's my fault I can only blame myself. I'm the one who is failing out of school because I don't attend class or do the assignments. I'm at a school where I just don't feel comfortable or needed. So I don't go. It's my life that is on the line. I was a great student until I got to college I made honor roll I was in the top 5% of my graduating class on high school. Then in Novemember of my Freshman year of college I gave up. I don't talk about it just typing this makes my heart ache and tears roll down my face. That novemember I lost everything: hope, faith, strive, determination I lost everthing a person needs to survive emotionally. I'm slowly gaining those valuable parts back with help.

Essay Topics.

Have you ever been somewhere that you couldn't ever forget, some place you didn't want to forget. A place you'd write about so in case your mind let you down you'd have that memory on paper. well I have a few places I'd enjoy writing about. My trip to Seattle/Vancouver, or My summers at Camp Sabra. One memory I'd like to have in writing is my layover at the O'hare international airport ( this is a GREAT! story). I really liked my trips to Washington D.C. and Las vegas. Maybe the the summers I swam in Garden City's 2.5 millon gallon swimming pool. Just a few places I'd like to remember.

Mark 9:35

"If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." As I said before I'm ready to do something with My life and that means I had to seperate my dreams for me from the dreams my mother had for me. I always thought I wanted to go into medicine and be this world renowned surgeon but, I've always had this nagging this feeling of being pulled in another direction. I finally see where I'm being pulled. I beileve in G-d and I do beileve he calls upon you to fuflill certain positions in this world. G-d is and has been calling me to be a Missonary to where I don't know yet. Now that I have payed attention to those feelings of uncomfort and have listened I'm starting to feel different. Different how? I'm not sure I just feel lighter and inspired. When I told my mother I was applying to Central Bible College for the fall semester and told her I would be majoring in Global Missions her response was " Sounds to me like your going to starve." then she suggested that I become an accountant. The biggest difference between me and my mother is for her money comes first, for me helping others is my first priority. Like it says in Mark 9:35 "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." Being a Missionary is all about service service to G-d and the guidance you will be giving to others leading them to Christ! I will be an extraordinary Missionary for two reasons 1. I don't mind being a servant I enjoy helping I'm a natural. and 2. G-d is lighting my path. I may not have my mother's support but I have G-d and he is all I need.